Abundant
Life Academy is a unique
Christian boarding school
for troubled teens. Our
definition of a troubled
teen is much different than
most. Our approach to serving
the troubled teen is just
as unique. However, the
purpose of this web page
is not to discuss our approach
as much as it is to define
the term, “troubled
teen”. We want to
take the time to clarify
the term, and to define
our version of what a troubled
teen is, and how he/she
became that way. To know
what we are dealing with
does just as important as
knowing how to deal with
it.
To us, the troubled teen
that we refer to throughout
our web site is really an
“entitled” kid
from a good family, a kid
who appreciates nothing,
disrespects his/her parents,
refuses to take responsibility
for his/her actions, blames
others for his/her own poor
choices, academically unmotivated,
but motivated to do anything
to gain acceptance by his/her
negative peer group. More
specifically, today’s
troubled teen is a monster
at home, often yelling and
screaming at parents and
defying parental authority
at every turn, but a great
kid outside of the home.
Yes, outside of the home
the troubled teen is polite,
respectful, and looks and
acts like a normal kid.
To us, a troubled teen
is not a thug, a thief,
a gangster, a criminal,
violent, defiant toward
all authority, or any other
description that describes
someone with a mental disorder.
When we use the term troubled
teen we really mean to describe
a “spoiled brat”.
We mean to describe a kid
who has every possible resource
available to make something
out of him/herself, yet
all they want to do is hang
out with negative friends
and “run their own
show”. We are referring
to kids that have been blessed,
gifted, and very talented
but are wasting their God-given
potential trying to emulate
the latest rapper. This
kid is only interested in
how he/she is viewed by
his/her friends, and cares
nothing of their parents
and how they feel.
The troubled teen that
we serve comes from middle
and upper middle-class Christian
families who have good morals,
good work ethic, principled,
and are integral. These
families have raised their
children in good Christian
homes, attending church
regularly. But, about the
age of 12 their child began
to change. First came the
rap music, then the clothes,
and the hip language. Pretty
soon all that used to matter
is gone, and it has been
replaced with defiance,
anger, and rebellion toward
parents. Today’s troubled
teen acts 8, and demands
to be treated as if they
were 30.
With these kinds of kids
therapy doesn’t work,
it just makes them worse.
Why? Because being a troubled
teen is not a mental disorder,
and therapy rarely works
with kids anyway. Furthermore,
this is a spiritual condition,
and not a mental health
issue. It is also an emotional
immaturity issue, and not
a lack of therapy. These
troubled teens don’t
need a therapist; they need
a sense of reality, they
need discipline, and a sense
of appreciation for the
blessing they have. These
kids suffer from the disease
of “entitlementitis”.
Entitlementitis is a disease
associated with prolonged
exposure to unearned prosperity
combined with numerous parental
rescues. It comes from living
in a society where everything
is expected instantaneously,
without effort. Entitlementitis
can only persist in an environment
where accountability is
disregarded, and blaming
others is always the “special
of the day”. Entitlementitis
is the biggest epidemic
since polio, and twice as
devastating.
The main culprit behind
the rapid spread of entitlementitis
is the parent’s prosperity.
Parents across the nation
work very hard to protect
and provide for their children.
They do such a good job
that kids don’t learn
to struggle, to preserver,
or to fail. As soon as a
hyperactive kid begins to
act out we as parents rescue
him/her. We give them an
excuse and call it ADHD.
We take them to therapists,
give them medicine, and
then teach them that they
don’t have to work
hard like the rest. In trying
so hard to give our children
the best of everything we
end up rescuing them from
the very thing that is supposed
to bring about their growth
and maturity. Then they
turn on us. The bottom line
is that American teens lack
nothing, and do nothing
to get it. When they struggle,
we rescue them and bail
them out. As parents, we
are not alone as the whole
nation is guilty of bailing
out irresponsible people.
It is pervasive throughout
all of society.
We are a society geared
on entertainment. Kids today
demand to be entertained
at all times and we give
it to them. Young kids have
it all, video players, Playstation
2s, CD’s, DVD’s
and MP3’s. We give
them dance lessons, take
them to Tae Kwon Do, and
buy them anything they want.
Unfortunately, by the time
they are 12 they have no
idea what reality is. They
are never satisfied, and
always demanding more. We
are compelled to buy them
happiness. If we think it
will make them happy we
give it to them. We want
our children to be happy
so bad that we are willing
to destroying them to make
them happy. We are taking
all the pain out of life,
the kind of pain that we
all need to go through in
order to grow and mature.
Abundant
Life Academy does not
offer any mental health
service. As a matter of
fact, we believe that providing
therapy to entitled kids
only feeds into their entitlement.
Instead of teaching our
kids to be responsible,
and hold them accountable
for their actions, we label
their negative behavior
calling it “bipolar”,
or “oppositional defiance
disorder”. In doing
so we give them excuses
for their behavior. Yes,
some kids do suffer from
disorders such as bipolar,
or ADHD, but very few really
do have it. Basically, a
majority of the kids who
are diagnosed are really
just very immature. How
can you prescribe a drug
or provide therapy and expect
to overcome immaturity.
We are all fooling ourselves.
These kids need a wake
up call. They need discipline,
and learn to work hard for
what they achieve. They
need to stop making excuses,
stop blaming others, and
take responsibility for
the quality of their own
life. They need a dose of
reality, and they need to
grow up. They need to become
considerate toward others,
exercising compassion for
those who are less fortunate,
and become thankful for
all that they have. They
need to learn to wait, to
serve others, and be trusted.
At Abundant
Life Academy we ask,
“how is a therapist
going to provide a spoiled
kid with discipline, or
a disrespectful kid with
gratitude?” It won’t
happen. And, we wonder,
“How can Ritalin or
Zoloft help a kid to take
responsibility, to care
for others, or to give of
him/herself without expecting
something in return?”
I ask, “Has this nation
gone crazy?” We are
getting out of our children
just what we should expect.
As adults, parents, and
as Christians, we have to
begin to take back what
has been lost and make some
major adjustments.
There is an answer, and
His name is Jesus. God is
calling parents of this
nation to drawn a line in
the sand, and begin to repent
from our mistakes and allow
Him to restore our children.
It is not too late. We can
stop the progression of
the disease called “entitlementitis!”
What we first do is stop
what we have been doing
for a long time. Stop rescuing
your child. Stop giving
him/her excuses. Let him/her
take responsibility for
their choices. It is time
to relearn, restore, and
redeem what has been lost.
We need to get down on our
knees and ask for forgiveness
and cry out to God for wisdom.
We need to come together,
as the Body of Christ, and
make a clean cut from the
ways of the world. We have
to surrender, and get ready
to make some sacrifices.
True prosperity will come
to those who seek the Kingdom
of God and His righteousness
first. We need to return
to the priorities, and that
is to live a life surrendered
to the will and purpose
of God.
This, in a nutshell, is
our version of the term
“troubled teen”,
and a basic understanding
how we propose to deal with
it. If we have offended
anyone… well, then
we are sorry. But someone
needs to say it. We need
to teach our children by
example, and the first thing
we can do is to hold ourselves
accountable. Take responsibility.
Here at Abundant
Life Academy we are
dedicated to overcoming
“entitlementitis”,
and we will do it by teaching
good old fashion values,
insisting upon living by
longstanding proven principles,
and demonstrating the unconditional
love of God. May God bless
you and your family.